you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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