its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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