Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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