It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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