i permit you to call me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
