I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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