k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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