We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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