Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
