I must be too annoying 4 u.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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