i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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