dude i'm inner monologue high
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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