omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Randomize