I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
