I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize