I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's never too late to be topless.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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