I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
