that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
