It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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