Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
