Already got asked if we're dating
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
