somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
