My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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