Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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