If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hippo gnu deer
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
