Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
