found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
