You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
