Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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