He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
