I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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