Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
