HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
