i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
