omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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