one two three fourrrrnication!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
