Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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