You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
