6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize