Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
