fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
