So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
