Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
