so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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