CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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