What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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