Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
