im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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