I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize