I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
