i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I am one with the molecules
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
