i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
