it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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