im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
