If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
