Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize