Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i can't believe i had my finger in that
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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