I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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