I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
