That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
