So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
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