My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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