He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
