We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
