you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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