Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My pussy is not your playground.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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