Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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