you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
