So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
